Priorities

Being a mother of a 3 year old is a humbling experience. Once minute you are an amazing and brilliant mother as you “drive” around the house being an ambulance one moment and doll doctor expert then next. Moments later, you have dissolved your daughter into tears while playing hide-and-seek. My mistake? I asked her if she is the Big Bad Wolf as she approached me, ready to pounce.

Polar swings happen often. One day I have the most affectionate, polite, creative and articulate daughter in creation. The next day, I wonder when and how my daughter suddenly became Attila the Hun uttering guttural screams and orders.

I look for correlations, review developmental stages, and watch the phases of the moon. We stick to a routine, articulate expectations, and consistently reinforce good behaviour. The Attila-like personality still asserts itself.

This week I consulted the book, Raising Your Spirited Child. We have know E. to be spirited girl since her birth. She was kicked out of the nursery while in the hospital after her emergency C section birth. She had colic for three months. She is intense. She is dogged. She is very bright. You know, spirited.

What does the book start off by having you do? Access your own personality. So, now that I also recognize that I am spirited, I strongly suspect that my husband would be classified as one, as well. Some of the examples given in the book are pretty funny, and make the Attila in our house hold seem pretty tame.

Next steps: recognize that our daughter is sensitive and that certain situations can set her off. We can’t view it negatively, but rather, recognise triggers and try to diffuse situations before it is manifested into a behaviour issue. We can hopefully recognized these situations, and in some cases prepare for it. If we know we are going to places were there a lot of people (like our last family function), we need to give her enclaves of quiet so she does not get overwhelmed. In time, I hope you can coach our daughter so she can identify issues, before a problem arises.

So alas, I think I have my priorities right. I do want to get back to Moral Disorder, but in the meanwhile, I want to be proactive and see if I can’t better deal with some of the challenges that are presented by a 3 year old.